Offended Offensive

“I’m offended.”

I hear this used so frequently that it offends me. Seriously. Why the fuck should I care how you feel about what I say? Who cares if you’re offended? Does it physically harm you? “Show me on the dolly where my words touched you”. That’s right, they didn’t. So quit acting like my WORDS have physically assaulted you somehow. Why do people feel that they have some innate right to stop me from saying the things I want to say? You have the right to be offended. That’s pretty much where the first amendment leaves your rights, because it gives me the “Certain inalienable right” to be offensive in my choice of wording and conversation topics.

The last time I checked, we were Americans. There is a beautiful thing called the Bill of Rights, The Constitution, and the Amendments therein.

In case anyone is NOT familiar with the First Amendment, I present it here.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

Let me go even one step further. We are living in the age of technology. How many things do these pansies see posted on their “internet page of choice” that offends them? I’m sure there are plenty of things that they either “hide” or delete. That’s the beauty of free speech. If you don’t like what someone has to say, you can choose to ignore it. But when someone does it in person, they somehow feel compelled to continue their exposure to this “offensive” situation. And once it’s over, they cry to someone about how offended they are and expect their little “helicopter mom” to make it all better and punish the evil offender.

Holy shit people, were you so fucking pampered by your helicopter moms and your sheltered upbringing that you think that you are ACTUALLY special? I have news for you. You’re not special. Not to me. Not to the idiot beside you or even the creeper looking down your blouse while you dig in your purse (Yes, he IS looking). You are only special to a select populace consisting of your immediate friends and family. So, if you don’t want to be offended, stay within the confines of this institution where you’re safe from the worst of society. The foul mouthed the angry, and the people that actually worked to achieve something for themselves. But when you CHOOSE to leave those confines, your predefined expectations go right out the window. Do you know why? Because you are NOT the person the world revolves around. You are just another brick in the wall. (See what I did there?)

When your feelings start earning money, then MAYBE I’ll care. But until then, kindly find somewhere else to sit. It doesn’t hurt my feelings if you don’t want to hear what I have to say, and you shouldn't care if it did. What DOES piss me off, among other things, is that so many people think that their self imposed right to not hear what I have to say directly affects me. It does not. I can say what I want, when I want, and pretty much WHERE I want. Granted, saying “I have a bomb” in an airport isn’t the smartest thing in the world, but, you could say it if you want. In fact…please do. But make sure I’m there to watch the fallout. That would make my day…hell, it’ll make my YEAR!

The Anti-Manifesto

Why is my Government "of the people and for the people" broken?

The more and more I watch and listen to (what used to be) this great country of ours, the more it becomes apparent that we are letting our own rights and freedoms be sucked away. Inch by inch we are pulled into a socialist state. Our freedoms will not go out with a bang, but rather a whimper.

Bill after bill is passed on capital hill. When was the last time you or your representatives read all 800 pages of a bill up for vote? These bills are laden with sub sections and diverts and redirects. Special interest groups lobby YOUR elected representatives to vote yes on the "name brand" of the bill. They sell them the perks and "up shot" of the main bill. The thing that escapes most Americans is that, every single one of these special interest groups has a "sub bill" hidden in there somewhere. These sub bills, frequently, wind up circumventing the "name brand" bill and provide extra incentives and leeway towards the special interest groups that lobbied for the main bill to pass.

For those of you that don't know, Lobbying (also Lobby) is the act of attempting to influence decisions made by officials in the government by individuals, other legislators or government actors, constituents, or advocacy groups. A lobbyist is a person who tries to influence legislation on behalf of a special interest or a member of a lobby. Governments often define and regulate organized group lobbying that has become influential.

If you think, for one god damn minute, that your elected official hasn't been "influenced" by one of these individuals, you need to have your head examined.

Well, it's the fault of the Democrats/Republicans. If we could just change the governing party ... "

Let me be clear on this. BUUUULLLLLLSHIIIIIITT! If you think that there is any REAL and I mean ABSOLUTE fundamental difference between the two parties that keep butt fucking this country into a ball gagged submissive position, you need to be committed. And then, maybe lobotomized. Because that's about all the value your thoughts have brought to our government thus far.

Is our country fucked? Yes. Did we do it to ourselves? Yes. Can we fix it. NO and YES. We just have to collectively WANT to. You see, there is a fundamental strength in our government that is also its' biggest flaw.

We do NOT live in a Democracy. We live in a mixed bag of socialist and democratic bullshit. You see, every two years, we "democratically" elect our socialist party. Every vote counts ... yes, and no. Your vote every four years; that ONE time you feel strongly about or against some presidential candidate, that you decide to haul your lazy ass off the sofa, away from your ez-mac and funyuns is not the time to make a difference. It's every time you vote for a mayor or governor. Yes, every TWO years. (I know I know, shocking that you have to actually participate in your government if you want it to work properly.) You see, these are the fuck wads that wind up casting your vote FOR you during the presidential election. Ever wonder how GW got two terms? Because the idiots that did vote between presidential elections, elected even bigger idiots.

The Electoral Collage my learned friends. The biggest sham our government has played on us up until the "Patriot Act". You see, every state has a number of "Electoral Votes". These votes are cast by your ELECTED officials. They can vote however they see fit. If that means going against the public vote, they can (and have, several times) vote for whichever candidate they think will make their lives easier. The only way to actually stop this circle of insanity is to get to know your elected local (yes local, who do you think will run for state office in a few years?) and state officials. Decide for yourself if they have your best interests in mind. Then, cast that vote and pray to whatever gods you consider holy, that they didn't just lube you heavier than a gang bang queen on the set of her next world record.

So I'm fucked? We're all fucked?

Ah! Now there's the rub. For now ... yes. We're the pooch. But the beauty of our government is that it CAN and, gods willing, WILL be taken back. We just HAVE to be engaged. That's the only way to fix this country. That's also the beauty of this country. We broke it, we can fix it. It will take time, and it will take patience. But if everyone opens their eyes to what is REALLY going on in this country and can step back for "party" views, we can find the right balance.

So go forth, young and old. Learned and learning. Engage your countries political landscape. Learn what is and isn't in a candidates bag of tricks. Vote for the people that you WANT to vote FOR you. Lets get back to being the "Land of the Free and Home of the Brave" and look back on the days of "Land of the TSA frisking and in home wire tapping" with amusement and say "We have come a long way baby".

I love this country. Lets keep it that way.

A New Year without flying cars

I was promised flying cars.

Back To The Future part II promised me flying cars. The year in which Marty McFly went forward in time to was 2015. Considering that we have JUST gotten on board with hybrid and fully electric cars, I don't see it happening in the next five years or so. Then again, with the breakneck speed at which technology has been advancing over the last ten years ... I guess we'll have to see but I have my doubts.


Two Republicans go on a hunting expedition.

I'm not politically aligned with any single party. If you have read any of my previous rants, you know that I tend to choose the lesser of the two evils presented to me and pray that they don't fuck up our country any more than the last dick head did. That being said, I think Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney should go hunting together. Lets face it, who better to get rid of the "Soccer mom from Hell" than a pro? I can see the aftermath now, the Palin family will be apologizing to the Cheney clan on Sarahs behalf after the dust settles and good ol' Dick will just keep on siphoning money from Halliburton.

Seriously, that crazy woman actually thinks that Dinosaurs and Humans existed at the same time. Maybe it's her right wing, bible thumper, brainwashed "christian" upbringing that tells her that science is the devils playground. I try not to be sexist but I think the first time she had a bad conference with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad during her menstrual cycle, it would spark WWIII. Is America ready for a female president? Absolutely. Is America ready for Sarah Palin as president? Gods help me I hope not. 




A Government of The People, For the People, By the People.


While I wish I had come up with this little tirade of my own accord, I must give credit where credit is due. The Observer had this to say regarding the topic, and I think the author covers the topic fairly thoroughly. I do, however, feel that I must say one thing regarding this topic, and it is once again, not my own thought but I agree with it whole heartedly. "... anyone who would impose a state-mandated religion should first spend two years in a nation with a state-mandated religion that is not their own religion." 




That's pretty much all I have for now. What can I say? It's a new year, the air is fresh and the Tank is Clean ... THE TANK IS CLEAN? See you all later after someone has properly pissed in my breakfast cereal of choice.

Welcome to America. Get out.

In keeping with tradition, I'll forewarn everyone about the nature of my rants. These are adult oriented topics utilizing adult oriented language. These topics aren't for the faint of heart or the "polite" family to discuss in mixed company. Persons under the mental age of objective reasoning should not read them. There are many things in this world that wind up pissing us off and I'm just the person that's willing to SAY what is pissing me off. So, saddle up, grab your bootstraps and pull on your big boy/girl undies and settle in for a trip through the world I live in.

U.S Foreign Policy. Is it just me, or does the United States need to step back from the world stage for about two decades and spend some time unfucking its own problems for a while? I mean really. The world can kiss my rosy red white and blue ass. When there's a perceptible problem on the horizon, the U.N steps in and ushers forth its helium hand instrument of destruction. A.K.A The United States of America. This inevitably causes the global community to go up in arms and start protesting that the U.S needs to mind its own business with choice phrases such as "no blood for oil" or whatever other stupid shit the French can come off with quickly. (by the way, the gulf war is/was the biggest crock of shit George Bush ever persuaded this country into participating in ... more on that later) But whenever something truly tragic happens and we aren't there within 14 strokes of a dead mans watch, whoa!

"WHERE IS THE U.S?! WAAAH! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US! COME GIVE US FREE AID AND FOOD AND MEDICAL SUPPLIES!"

You know what. It's about time the world just sucks it up and gets bent. Who comes to our aid when the shit hits the fan? Where was England with their naval carriers when the levies broke free? Where was Japan with their earthquake knowhow when the big one rocked Los Angles? I'll tell you where they were. They were MINDING THEIR OWN FUCKING BUISNESS! (just for clarification. Yes, we did receive monetary aid and volunteers DID come over to help. But not one single country sent their military out en masse to help our dire situations, unlike what seems to be expected of us.) These countries have their issues, I'll grant you that. But are they begging China to buy up their debt so that they can fund a war on foreign soil? *blink*

Immigration. First and foremost let me state that I am an American mutt. I have nearly every nationality from Northern Europe coursing through my veins. I am also 1/8 Cherokee Indian. I get that this country is founded on immigration. I do. We're a diverse melting pot of heritage, ideals and nationalities. I feel that this diversity is what makes our country a model (populace wise) of what the human race will resemble across the globe one day. But lets get something straight. We speak ENGLISH! The predominate spoken language is english. If you are a legal immigrant, you know this because it's pointed out during the naturalization process. That being said, learn the fucking language or get the fuck out. I wouldn't expect to move to Mexico with the intent of making it my home without knowing the language. And I DAMN sure wouldn't expect to get a JOB without at least SOME modicum functioning application of the spanish language. The same goes for Germany, Russia, Japan or even France. You learn the language of the indigenous populace. If you want to speak your native tongue in the privacy of your own home, that's your business. But when I call for customer support and have to select ENGLISH as my language, it kind of gets my blood boiling. What REALLY pisses me off is when, even after selecting english, I get some Rubbermaid jerk off fresh off the boat that barely understands that my last bill was incorrect and I would like to address specific items on this bullshit data plan. Oddly enough, the United States is the only country that makes apologies for people not being able to get a job due to a language barrier. Go over to Germany and see if the phrase "You want fries with that?" gets you anywhere. We bend over backwards, in so many ways, for so many other people that we've lost our own identity as Americans. We're supposed to be "The land of the free and home of the brave" but what we're turning into is "The land of handouts and socialist reform."

And another thing, sadly, this applies to people coming across the Mexican border but it isn't just Mexicans. But how to tell the difference eh? Anyway, QUIT littering the ground with your trash as you come here. There's quite literally an area in the Sonoran Desert just South of Tucson, Arizona that is littered beyond recognition by illegal immigrants. You know that this says to me? "Ah, I'm in America, allow me to begin shitting on all of you. Where are my food stamps?" If they can't at least pick up their own crap when they get here, how do you think they're going to treat any property the occupy or behave in a job that they may be under qualified for? Seriously, I'm not against immigration. I say, the more the merrier. But at least do it legally. There are ways to get your family and yourself immigrated to the United States without trashing our landscape. Oh ... and learn the fucking language.

The forbidden topics - An introduction.

I'm going to put my thoughts regarding the world and all of its idiocy on blast. This is my first blog, as a culmination of my irritations with the world and a lack of paper to put it all on. Hey, I'm environmentally friendly and exceptionally angry. This is going to be somewhat rude to some and somewhat true to others. But one thing is certain. It will strike a chord somewhere with every one of you. They say there are three things you don't talk about in mixed company. Sex, politics and religion. So without further ado, lets get this party started shall we?

Politics. When the hell did our country go to shit? I think it all started back during the Nixon administration. Maybe earlier but I'm not certain so I will speak to what I understand. Watergate. The presidents staff was supposedly spying on it's own people? How freaking paranoid do you have to be? This caused a trickle down effect that culminated into what we know now as The Patriot Act. Our country is so afraid of itself that we're allowing and, sometimes THANKING the government for spying on and infringing upon our Constitutional Rights and liberties. I will use TSA as an example just because it's the most recent whipping post.

TSA, in its infinite wisdom, is treating every single tax paying citizen of the United States of America as a potential terrorist. Are you fucking kidding me? TSA is constantly reacting to YESTERDAY'S threat. By the way, these threats weren't discovered by TSA. They were discovered by the passengers aboard the planes. These threats were discovered AFTERthe would be terrorists went through security screening by TSA. So what does TSA do? They start "virtually" strip searching everyone. The thing about these new measures that really blows my mind is that all too many Americans say "It's in the name of safety". NO IT'S NOT! It's in the name of government control over your civil liberties. I would LOVE to see someone sue TSA for infringing upon their fourth amendment rights. But wait, you can't. You cannot sue the government nor one of its agencies. Since TSA is a department of Homeland Security, we're kinda fucked waiting for THAT to happen. Allow me to summarize, for those of you that aren't aware of what the fourth amendment states.

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, the persons or things to be seized."

Only due to the PATRIOT ACT and those paranoid "Sheep" that call themselves citizens, has this gone unchallenged. It is your RIGHT to NOT be searched without being served a search warrant prior to your flight. But how many people will put up that fight instead of agreeing to the "unwarranted search dictated by policy of the patriot act" in the name of safety, just to get across our own country?

Guess what this means.  It means the terrorists have won.  That, or we have to admit that conspiracy theorist we all used to laugh at were actually right.  

While we're on the topic of Politics I have to ask. Why the FUCK is ANYONE still claiming "party" allegiance in our butt fucked political party system? There is such a TINY difference between "Democrat" and "Republican" that I can't honestly tell the difference when they speak. If it weren't for the handy little "moniker" that the news stations put before a persons name, I'd not know the difference. And if Sarah Palin is elected president, I'm considering leaving. Good day! Helloooooo Canada eh?

Religion. First, some christians really, really, REALLY need to get a fucking grip. "Jesus is the reason for the season" is heard so frequently during the "holiday" season that it makes me wanna choke slam some bible thumping prick through a plate glass window.  Sure, Jesus can be the reason for YOUR season, but not mine! Jesus fucking christ (pun intended) by religious logic, the pagans are the reason for the season. Its the winter solstice. They celebrated that winter was HALF over. It was the middle of a "no harvest" season in which many people would come together to share a "portion" of what they had in order to participate in a feast. The reason for the season is to gather en masse and celebrate.

The CURRENT reason for the season is a commercialism, capitalist, revenue generating THREE MONTHS!. Why are we seeing "Christmas" decorations BEFORE we see decorations for "All Hallows Eve"? Even IF jesus were the reason for the season, I don't think he would approve of our current methods of celebration. Jesus was a humble rabbi. The son of a carpenter, who by the way, liked hookers. Don't believe me? Google it, or read the bible. It's there, in plain text. 

The next time I have to hear someone chastise me for "not believing" in Jesus Christ, I may go into a "mild insanity" moment in which their head gets shoved into the nearest paint shaker and turned on full tilt. They're dead to me, praise the lord, Hallelujah!

There's even more of the "christianity" sect that pisses me off and I'm just going to name a few. Those extremists that believe that science is the devils playground and SWEAR that dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time as humans. These are the Sarah Palins of society and really should be institutionalized the first time they open their man pleaser. They have an argument for every single scientific discovery that disagrees with their brain washed personal religious agenda. Whatever the fuck THAT is.

Catholics. Divorce. Pedophilia. Reproduction. These words, in and of themselves summarize how I feel about THAT cult.

I think the only religion that HASN'T pissed me off is the Jews. They keep to themselves. They make "wanna be" jews prove their moxy before even allowing them to go before a confirmation ceremony. They don't force their beliefs down anyones throat and they can engage you in intelligent "debate" regarding religion without being offended nor chastising your own personal beliefs. Some christians could learn a thing or fifty about their own religion from these humble servants of their lord.

Sex. I saved this for last and for many reasons. But the main reason is because its all stemmed from politics and religion. So much so, that one might think that politics and religion CREATED sex. Your religion states many things regarding sex. Some religions state that homosexuality is "against god" or that "to deny your spouse is to deny god" etc. etc. etc. Many states have "common law" marriage. This is when you have lived with someone as a "roommate" for so long, that the state now sees you as a married couple. Some states refuse to acknowledge "same sex" marriages. (side note, did you know that the state of Texas has outlawed marriage? Yeah, it was a political attempt to make "same sex marriage" illegal but blew up in their face because they worded it incorrectly. I laugh.) So, having suffered through my rants regarding the previous two topics, it should come as no surprise that I have very strong ANTI religious and political feelings regarding sex. 

Sex, by definition is, 

In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while femalegametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism.

An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience.

Now that I've put the definition in front of you, allow me to state that I do not advocate, nor discriminate homosexuality. By the law of nature, maybe human beings are headed towards and asexual existence. I don't know and neither do you. Fuck what your "book" says. 

What it really all boils down to, for me at least, is that as long as two (or maybe more) consenting adults are willing to get "busy" and please each other in a manner aside from complimenting someone on their hair or promoting them at work, then that's their business. Get out of our bedrooms America. It's no one else's business what happens behind closed doors if you're not part of the party.

As for the state and religious aspect of the "sanctimony" of marriage, go fuck yourself. See my comment above. Consent is consent unless drugs or alcohol is involved. Also note, using your sexuality to get ahead in life is part of the game. It's nature. We flirty and tease and hope that it leaves a lasting impression on someone in hopes that it causes them to remember us when we're being put under the microscope. Is it fair? No. But does it happen? Absolutely. Daily, weekly, and hourly.

That's it for now, but I'll be back as the world changes and dictates as much.