Offended Offensive

“I’m offended.”

I hear this used so frequently that it offends me. Seriously. Why the fuck should I care how you feel about what I say? Who cares if you’re offended? Does it physically harm you? “Show me on the dolly where my words touched you”. That’s right, they didn’t. So quit acting like my WORDS have physically assaulted you somehow. Why do people feel that they have some innate right to stop me from saying the things I want to say? You have the right to be offended. That’s pretty much where the first amendment leaves your rights, because it gives me the “Certain inalienable right” to be offensive in my choice of wording and conversation topics.

The last time I checked, we were Americans. There is a beautiful thing called the Bill of Rights, The Constitution, and the Amendments therein.

In case anyone is NOT familiar with the First Amendment, I present it here.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.”

Let me go even one step further. We are living in the age of technology. How many things do these pansies see posted on their “internet page of choice” that offends them? I’m sure there are plenty of things that they either “hide” or delete. That’s the beauty of free speech. If you don’t like what someone has to say, you can choose to ignore it. But when someone does it in person, they somehow feel compelled to continue their exposure to this “offensive” situation. And once it’s over, they cry to someone about how offended they are and expect their little “helicopter mom” to make it all better and punish the evil offender.

Holy shit people, were you so fucking pampered by your helicopter moms and your sheltered upbringing that you think that you are ACTUALLY special? I have news for you. You’re not special. Not to me. Not to the idiot beside you or even the creeper looking down your blouse while you dig in your purse (Yes, he IS looking). You are only special to a select populace consisting of your immediate friends and family. So, if you don’t want to be offended, stay within the confines of this institution where you’re safe from the worst of society. The foul mouthed the angry, and the people that actually worked to achieve something for themselves. But when you CHOOSE to leave those confines, your predefined expectations go right out the window. Do you know why? Because you are NOT the person the world revolves around. You are just another brick in the wall. (See what I did there?)

When your feelings start earning money, then MAYBE I’ll care. But until then, kindly find somewhere else to sit. It doesn’t hurt my feelings if you don’t want to hear what I have to say, and you shouldn't care if it did. What DOES piss me off, among other things, is that so many people think that their self imposed right to not hear what I have to say directly affects me. It does not. I can say what I want, when I want, and pretty much WHERE I want. Granted, saying “I have a bomb” in an airport isn’t the smartest thing in the world, but, you could say it if you want. In fact…please do. But make sure I’m there to watch the fallout. That would make my day…hell, it’ll make my YEAR!